Alcoholics Anonymous or Curmudgeons Anonymous? On Being Happy With The Now

Welcome to our discussion based on Joe C.’s Beyond Belief: Agnostic Musings for 12 Step Life. We post choice quotes from the daily reading, as well as the discussion questions, and encourage you to think on it and respond in the comments. Please keep our community guidelines in mind while commenting.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

-Vivian Greene

….”If only” this, “if only” that. Bitch, bitch, bitch! Sometimes our moods are such that we could brighten up a whole room–by leaving it…”If only” is a copout if it stands between us and the start of a spiritual (or some would say¬†natural) journey. Our lives are here and now. We are good enough right now, the world is far enough and we have enough to get by for today.

Perfectionism is customary among addicts. There is a Twelve Step trap some addicts fall into: approval and the need for it. We will overcompensate, we will act as if, we will set unrealistic goals and we will feel ashamed for not meeting them. A thirst for approval interferes with our abilities to accept life as it is. It gets worse with time if we fancy ourselves powers of example.

…Unconditional self-approval can start now. We are imperfect. Life is chaotic. The future is uncertain. This is here, this is now and this is as good as it gets.

Discussion questions

  • Can I see myself being happy no matter what the circumstances?

Secular Sobriety Discussion: Pace, Prioritization, and Perfectionism

Welcome to our discussion based on Joe C.’s Beyond Belief: Agnostic Musings for 12 Step Life. We post choice quotes from the daily reading, as well as the discussion questions, and encourage you to think on it and respond in the comments. Please keep our community guidelines in mind while commenting.

Perfectionism and impatience sidetrack sober, balanced living, and they are worth understanding. Do we ever forget we are human? Do we ever forget to ask for help? Some of us are workaholics and all of us have workaholics who impact our lives. Some of us are doubly blessed or double-losers, depending on how you look at concurrent disorders. Imbalance in work can lead to other addictions. There is no making up for lost time–that’s an illusion. Impatience may be part of a chaotic life that kept things way too busy for touchy-feely time. Sometimes we are rushing for arbitrary self-imposed deadlines. What’s that about? If we don’t have time to do it right, how do we always find time to do it over? If perfectionism or impatience pesters us in recovery, or worse yet, if we self-righteously wear our impatience or perfectionism as badges of honor, why not check in with someone about this?

Discussion questions

  • Do I come from a chaotic or dysfunctional background?
  • Have I inherited naive or unrealistic expectations?
  • Is my pace good or am I impatient?
  • Have I prioritized my day and left time for spontaneity?
  • Am I a perfectionist?
  • What does this tell me about my stage of recovery?